can’t bring myself to pack, shower, do laundry or anything at all, really. except to reflect on these last few months & the changes they’ve brought to me. can’t think of much else besides pizza in the red garage & hours of conversations in the blue garage, that all seem to blend together in some fuzzy haze. can’t think of much else but visiting the frost museum on my own, having meals on my own & feeling confident in public & when speaking to strangers for the first time in a long time. can’t help but think of all the crutches i’ve thrown away & will never look back for. can’t help but think of how i sleep alone now, every night without the aid of some tv, some light, some body. can’t help but think of risks & their sweet (& sometimes not so sweet) rewards. can’t help but think of new feelings & new places ive been. im thinking of novelties, how they feel so familiar & close to my soul that i have to remind myself they’re not. i’m thinking of feeling so passionate about my certain perceptions ive had & learning they’re not & growing from that. but, mostly i cant help but think of the scary, weird, wonderful year that is to come & all the shackles i’ve freed myself from. i’m ready to take on whatever & im not afraid of any of it & nothing is weighing me down. im infinite & endless.